In a world where we are constantly with others (even if that is via iMessage or WhatsApp), it is easy to get too used to other people’s company.
I know a lot of people who are never by themselves. The thought of going shopping alone is a no-go and are with friends all the time. While its lovely to be surrounded by the people you love, we need to be able to be alone. Sometimes life is lonely. So when all you have is yourself, you need to like being in your own company! After all, I’m sure you’re pretty great.
No-one wants to be lonely, but we should all be able to feel content being alone. I think there is a big difference between being alone and being lonely.
I’m lucky that I have found a balance, where I am more than happy in my own company. Granted, I wouldn’t want to be alone all the time! But the thought of going out for a meal by myself doesn’t worry me, and I never worry if I’ve missed out on a night out. In fact, the thought of having a whole day to myself sounds quite nice! I’m a big believer in plenty of ‘me-time‘.
I thought I’d share a few tips I’ve curated for enjoying your own company. At some point or another we all have to be alone, so we might as well enjoy it!
I started working in a city an hour away from where I live. I spend lunchtimes and commutes by myself. At first, I’d feel nervous and a little lonely. Quickly, I learnt that by plugging my headphones in and listening to a podcast or a feel-good playlist on Spotify, the hours I spent by myself became pleasant.
If being alone more is new to you, choosing to plug in to some good music should make you feel better. If you suddenly are by yourself more, such as after a break-up or moving out, sometimes your own thoughts can be loud. Especially if you’re prone to overthinking (I’m guilty of this!). Music can lift your mood and keep you distracted from feeling down.
I love listening to the Sheerluxe Highlights podcast for beauty, fashion and lifestyle news. The Lavendaire podcast is perfect for dreamers and creators. I love Desert Island Discs too – I most recently listened to Jack Whitehall’s and Ed Sheeran’s interviews and enjoyed both!
Do one thing at a time
Being by yourself is a chance to set your undivided attention on each thing you do. Watching Titanic? Watch the film and leave your phone in the next room. Clearing out your bedroom? Don’t get distracted by emails. I guess the overriding theme here is to make sure your alone time doen’t just become ‘phone time’. The addiction for our generation is so real. Again, I’m guilty of this too!
You might decide to read a book for a while and get properly stuck in, or my current favourite is to work on a crossword book (that’s my inner 90-year old speaking). Something for you to get busy on without being distracted by anyone else. In the busy world we live in, it’s actually quite nice to get completely absorbed in a task.
Challenge yourself to do something alone
Lots of things were made for two. Going out for dinner, heading to the cinema or going out shopping; all of these tend to be couple or group activites. Really though, there isn’t a reason you can’t do them by yourself!
If the thought of going out for a meal for one is daunting, start small. Visit Pret or Itsu, and eat in rather than taking away. Just take a book or your headphones and you are away! Once we are happy doing smaller activites alone, we can tackle bigger fish. One of my lovely friends recently went on holiday alone and many people go travelling alone – proof that your own company is all you really need.
Create: take time for your hobby
Time by yourself doesn’t need to be spent watching Love Island and scrolling Insta (as nice as that is for a while!). Think about what you really love doing, and particularly, the things you like doing that your friends don’t. Everyone is creative in some way or another, and spending time on a new skill or hobby is something so lovely to do by yourself. A little world just for you!
I love blogging in my spare time. To me, there is nothing nicer than an empty house for a few hours, so that I can get writing. Another hobby I enjoy is candle-making, something I started earlier this year! I’ll clear the kitchen and get started, blending fragrances and essential oils to play with new candle scents. It is so theraputic!
Build a space you love
The place you spend the most time alone should be space you love. If you find your long drive to work lonely, treat yourself to a new car air-freshener and keep things tidy, with plenty of your favouite CD’s (or an aux cable!) and maybe a tin of sweets to hand. This way, your car becomes a little safe space where you can just listen to music and take an hour for yourself.
If it is your bedroom, try plenty of green plants and soft blankets. Treat yourself to new silky pyjamas, fluffy slippers and scented candles. Maybe you start a routine of having a bath with essential oils and a good magazine.
I think it is important that we can all create our own happiness! Let me know if this topic was helpful, I enjoyed writing about it!
I’d love to know how you feel about spending time in your own company – scary or enjoyable?